Thread: The Misadventures of Archer Bro(nze)

5 Stars for the work! I'm wondering though, which Bronze Archer is Archer Bro? Or is he just a nameless mook who's at Bronze level?

I'm going to say Ars. He looks to me like the kind of guy who would be involved in those shenanigans.

This was brilliant! I giggled. I giggled a lot! More please

Oh Kotono, if there is issue with the language in this post, yell and I'll edit it.

->Open Spoiler<-

>Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
>Hunt for some meat, bring it back to barracks for cooking.
>Wonder why the only cook in this army is Mortimer when the majority of members are women.
>Grumble about Prince's latest antics with other like-minded men.
>Lean back on bench and touch a damp spot.
>Conrad: "That smells of woman. Who had sex here?"
>Awkward silence. Everyone's thinking the same thing: 'who else?'
>Attempt to take everyone's mind off by mentioning tomorrow's activities.
>Mortimer: "We're gonna drag that lad away from all his pussy and party up!"

>One boat trip and a manly brawl later, get a pile of booze drops.
>Prince brings out his secret stash of Millennium Wine.
>Only silvers and above are invited to drink.
>Crash in bed early, none of the other Irons and Bronzes wanted to hold a consolation party.
>Next evening, continue the grumbling from last time.
>Mortimer: "I won't allow you to diss the Prince! That man is alright."
>What happened at that party?

->Open Spoiler<-

>Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
>Deployed in toxic swamp today, next to new recruit: Spica.
>It's her first mission in this army.
>Don't get hopes up, you know the inevitable future.
>Shoot down gargoyles and such, at least this is enjoyable.
>Spica having a hard time with her frail constitution.
>Prince doesn't even show up for this mission: "there's nowhere for me to stand"
>Be a sympathetic ear to Spica badmouthing Prince for sending them out here.
>Spica just shot down a dragon. It dropped a diamond as it died.
>Cough cough, can't take these toxic fumes anymore, where are the healers?
>Just before going unconscious, get relieved to make room for a healer.

>Back at the barracks, you wake up to see Christopher tending to your health.
>Couldn't it have been Alyssa or Dorca at least?
>Thank him for his work and ask what happened to Spica.
>Christopher: "In her room, being attended to."
>The way he said it already gives bad vibes.
>Sure enough, there's a trail of flowers near her room. You can still smell the swamp's acrid fumes on them.
>Prince comes out of the room, you hide.
>A while later, Spica comes out too. You ask her how she feels.
>She's gushing in a very roundabout way that the Prince may not be as bad as she first thought.
>Special mention for the diamond he just gifted her.
>Isn't that the same diamond that dropped from her own kill?

Pretty good. You may want to put the little greater than sign (>) before each paragraph to keep the tradition though.

Anon who made the Mehlis one, reporting.
Posting with some slight adjustments.

->Open Spoiler<-

>Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
>Finally get to know this new mage girl, Mehlis.
>Barbastroff is so proud of her, how fast she is learning under his wing.
>She's easy to hang with.
>Although she doesnt stop talking when the topic of magic comes into play.
>If anything I find that charming.
>Be talking to her on a day off during lunch
>"Oh well, time for todays lesson". she says.
>She seems awfully happy about it
>I bid her goodbye and go to do something around the castle.
>Walk around a bit and come across Barbastroff.
>"Oh hey, lesson done already?"
>He just raises an eyebrow.
>Awkward silence follows.
>Until a familiar giggle comes across the hallway.
>Its Mehlis and the Prince.
>They are just chatting and ha-
>"Oh for fuck's sake...."
>His hand is on her butt.
>Not only 'on her butt'.
>He's rubbing heartily.
>Barbastroff just sighs HEAVILY.
>He mumbles something along the lines of "too old for her, what's he thinking?"
>The droop on his normally proud stance was noticeable.
>They are walking towards the Prince's private barracks.
>...
>More awkward silence.
>"So... do you play cards?"

Time for a different protagonist.

->Open Spoiler<-

>Be IRON SOLDIER in Prince's Army.
>Not long ago, used to be a farmer's son in middle of nowhere.
>Goddess Aigis personally appeared in front of you.
>As you prostrate in worship, gives you a job offer.
>"Join the army that's fighting off the monster invasion! Oh and 70% of its members are beautiful women."
>Sign up without a second thought.

>Learn quickly that those "70% of members" are only interested in Prince.
>Feel down, couldn't you get close to just one girl?
>Hear rumour in mens' barracks of a mission where Prince has sworn not to touch the rescued maidens.
>Volunteer for it at earliest opportunity.
>"What I lack in skill, I'll make up for in spirit!"
>Find yourself in a toxic swamp, facing a pack of rabid wolves fast closing in.
>Anything to save a girl Prince won't touch.
>Thanks to bronze archer bros and Christopher, you survive the onslaught.
>Now where are these grateful girls?
>"Thanks for rescuing me! I'll work hard to get you lots of experience!"
>Wait... she's smaller than your fist.
>Blab your thoughts aloud while in a daze.
>"You wanted sexual experience? I can do that too. Want now?"
>You will not sink that low. It hurts, but you will not sink that low.
>Bronze bro puts a hand on your shoulder.
>"Welcome to Prince's army!"
>What a hazing.