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  1. #1

    The Misadventures of Archer Bro(nze)

    Well, I wrote this on 4chan in a stroke of creativity at some anon's wonderings about what the sex lives of the other males of the kingdom are like. This is the result:


    >Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
    >Deployed in royal road for extra ranged support.
    >I'm right next to Daniela.
    >Oh jeez, she's so hot.
    >Look at those tits, and how she dresses.
    >She smiles at me and tells me to do my best effort.
    >"Y-you too."
    >Battle continues, we win with three stars.
    >I think I'm going to say something to Daniela.
    >"Hey, Dan-"
    >The Prince appears from behind her, slapping her ass and putting his arm around her shoulder as she blushes and bites her lip.
    >"Hey, good job there with the bow, soldier. I'll level you up a bit later for the male only missions."
    >"T-thanks."
    >They walk off.
    >Oh well, maybe I'll say something to Alyssa over the-
    >Oh wait, he just picked her up as well.
    >Cloris is at the other side, maybe- nope, the Prince just picked her up as well.
    >...guess it's playing cards with Conrad tonight as well.





    >Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
    >Card's night with Conrad again.
    >We all gather at the inn every week and bet our gold.
    >Conrad always wins the most because no one dares to beat him for fear of him or his daughter.
    >Except the Prince, of course.
    >Middle of the night, I'm actually doing fairly well, doubled my salary while keeping away from Conrad's gold.
    >Katie and Aria cross through the tavern.
    >Conrad beckons to them to join with his thunderous voice.
    >"Sorry boys, the Prince called us and said it was urgent."
    >Oh god I know where this is going.
    >They walk upstairs.
    >Soon enough, we start hearing some creaking coming from the floor above us.
    >Awkward silence.
    >Aria's voice coming from above breaks it.
    >"Oh yes! Oh yes! Yes, my prince, spank this naughty soldier! I've been so bad, masturbating so much when you weren't around to please me!"
    >We're all just staring at our cards without actually playing.
    >Some dust is falling down from the ceiling on my hand.
    >Conrad says it's good to know the Prince is so lively and laughs awkwardly.
    >An entire hour later, Katie and Aria come down again, their hair messed up and parts of their clothes ripped.
    >"The Prince asked for your daughter, Conrad."
    >They leave.
    >Conrad is crying.





    >Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
    >The soldiers are training in front of the castle.
    >We archers have the day free, so I go make small talk with them.
    >Talk a bit with Phyllis, she's always looked kind of wierd to me but she seems good hearted.
    >She's actually pretty nice, even if she's very dedicated to training.
    >Oh shit, the Prince is coming straight towards her.
    >He hands her a fucking ruby.
    >Everyone around looks away, Katie and Aria are staring and grinning.
    >Here we go again, I just can't fucking compe-
    >Wait, she just took her sword up?
    >Holy shit she's attacking him.
    >What the fuck man, that's the Prince Phyllis what are you doing.
    >The rest of the soldiers have gathered around, and are at a loss of words.
    >The Prince manages to beat her (of course).
    >Phyllis compliments him, tells him his swordsmanship is impecable.
    >He's kind of confused but returns the compliment.
    >Fuck it, I start cheering.
    >Everyone applauds Phyllis for the amazing match she just gave.

    >A week later.
    >Phyllis has become quite popular for being the first girl that resists the Prince's charms.
    >Half the castle has tried to hit on her, but she remains impasive.
    >She just got CC'd today, so I decide to go to her room to congratulate her.
    >I approach her door.
    >There's a fuckton of flowers forming a way up to it.
    >Oh god please no.
    >Open door.
    >The Prince is right there, on the other side.
    >Naked.
    >We stare at each other for a moment.
    >"Hey-"
    >I close the door.
    >I hear Phyllis from inside saying "Who was that?".
    >I wonder if Conrad's playing today.





    >Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
    >Hanging out with my best friend Russell.
    >Turns out he's become fond of Dina, kinda like a little sister to him.
    >She's really impressive, possibly the best heavy infantry in the army despite her size and age.
    >As we're talking, we spot the Prince and Dina walking together.
    >Wait, don't tell me... no, no, that's impossible, the Prince wouldn't take advantage of a little girl like that.
    >Oh, he's just buying her ice cream, how nice of him.
    >They head back to the castle.
    >It's getting kind of cold, so I say my farewells to Russell and head back inside as well.
    >Passing through the heavy armor's barracks on my way to my room.
    >...wait, that noise sounds familiar.
    >I get close to the door where it comes from.
    >Oh god what the fuck those moans are from Dina.
    >Are you kidding me Prince you sick fuck that's illegal.
    >The moans have stopped.
    >The Prince walks out, doesn't actually see me.
    >Dina walks out as well, satisfied expression on her face.
    >Aigis, please tell me that thing on her hair is ice cream.
    >She spots me and blushes like crazy.
    >I freak out right there, what the hell happened, the Prince is a pedo, is she hurt?
    >She stares at me like I just killed a puppy.
    >"How old do you think I am?"
    >"Huh, like, 9 or 10 years old?"
    >She sighs and pulls out her ID.
    >She's 27.
    >What the fuck.
    >She's even got a degree on art history.

    >Next day I'm hanging out with Russell.
    >Not sure if I should tell him that he's actually the little brother.
    >Not sure if I should tell him his "sister" is getting banged by the Prince as well.


  2. #2
    5 Stars for the work! I'm wondering though, which Bronze Archer is Archer Bro? Or is he just a nameless mook who's at Bronze level?

  3. #3
    I'm going to say Ars. He looks to me like the kind of guy who would be involved in those shenanigans.

  4. #4

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    This was brilliant! I giggled. I giggled a lot! More please

  5. #5
    Oh Kotono, if there is issue with the language in this post, yell and I'll edit it.



    >Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
    >Hunt for some meat, bring it back to barracks for cooking.
    >Wonder why the only cook in this army is Mortimer when the majority of members are women.
    >Grumble about Prince's latest antics with other like-minded men.
    >Lean back on bench and touch a damp spot.
    >Conrad: "That smells of woman. Who had sex here?"
    >Awkward silence. Everyone's thinking the same thing: 'who else?'
    >Attempt to take everyone's mind off by mentioning tomorrow's activities.
    >Mortimer: "We're gonna drag that lad away from all his pussy and party up!"

    >One boat trip and a manly brawl later, get a pile of booze drops.
    >Prince brings out his secret stash of Millennium Wine.
    >Only silvers and above are invited to drink.
    >Crash in bed early, none of the other Irons and Bronzes wanted to hold a consolation party.
    >Next evening, continue the grumbling from last time.
    >Mortimer: "I won't allow you to diss the Prince! That man is alright."
    >What happened at that party?





    >Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
    >Deployed in toxic swamp today, next to new recruit: Spica.
    >It's her first mission in this army.
    >Don't get hopes up, you know the inevitable future.
    >Shoot down gargoyles and such, at least this is enjoyable.
    >Spica having a hard time with her frail constitution.
    >Prince doesn't even show up for this mission: "there's nowhere for me to stand"
    >Be a sympathetic ear to Spica badmouthing Prince for sending them out here.
    >Spica just shot down a dragon. It dropped a diamond as it died.
    >Cough cough, can't take these toxic fumes anymore, where are the healers?
    >Just before going unconscious, get relieved to make room for a healer.

    >Back at the barracks, you wake up to see Christopher tending to your health.
    >Couldn't it have been Alyssa or Dorca at least?
    >Thank him for his work and ask what happened to Spica.
    >Christopher: "In her room, being attended to."
    >The way he said it already gives bad vibes.
    >Sure enough, there's a trail of flowers near her room. You can still smell the swamp's acrid fumes on them.
    >Prince comes out of the room, you hide.
    >A while later, Spica comes out too. You ask her how she feels.
    >She's gushing in a very roundabout way that the Prince may not be as bad as she first thought.
    >Special mention for the diamond he just gifted her.
    >Isn't that the same diamond that dropped from her own kill?

    Last edited by Schverika; 06-30-2015 at 02:52 PM.

  6. #6
    Pretty good. You may want to put the little greater than sign (>) before each paragraph to keep the tradition though.

  7. #7
    Unregistered Guest

    Arrow Mr.

    1ˤˢ%2527%2522
    Last edited by Unregistered; 4 Weeks Ago at 11:59 AM. Reason: 1

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Gets merged into Spica for EXP. Only action he'll ever get.
    Dont want to think about Stray

  9. #9

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    anyone else missing this thread ?

  10. #10

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    Good job, this story is rather old and you don't seem to have followed it up with the further adventures of bronze. Your writing style is good but it would of course be helpful to add artwork if that is possible. You have inspired me and I will take a hand at writing a story.

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