My expectations have been set by h-games with good gameplay and plot. Like games by Escu:de, Re;Lord and Primaveil series are the latest great examples, and their games go back decades (not translated, but you don't have to be very fluent to grasp the gameplay.) If you want to see what a solo independent can produce, Way and Way" by ponidog, who does all his own illustration and programming.

If you want to see a great basis for VR porn, there are plenty of fantasy fetish sims in Second Life, and RPG's based around BDSM and captureplay, some with sophisticated gameplay mechanics governing the fantasy world, some with more emphasis on expressing characters through roleplay to define the world. The anatomy isn't included with the base avatar, but finding a quality set of responsive genitals is not difficult. Sex and violence are always big sellers there; I should know as I sell some animations and scripted props there (almost all bondage-oriented.)