Thread: The Misadventures of Archer Bro(nze)

Anon who made the Mehlis one, reporting.
Posting with some slight adjustments.

->Open Spoiler<-

>Be bronze archer in the Prince's army.
>Finally get to know this new mage girl, Mehlis.
>Barbastroff is so proud of her, how fast she is learning under his wing.
>She's easy to hang with.
>Although she doesnt stop talking when the topic of magic comes into play.
>If anything I find that charming.
>Be talking to her on a day off during lunch
>"Oh well, time for todays lesson". she says.
>She seems awfully happy about it
>I bid her goodbye and go to do something around the castle.
>Walk around a bit and come across Barbastroff.
>"Oh hey, lesson done already?"
>He just raises an eyebrow.
>Awkward silence follows.
>Until a familiar giggle comes across the hallway.
>Its Mehlis and the Prince.
>They are just chatting and ha-
>"Oh for fuck's sake...."
>His hand is on her butt.
>Not only 'on her butt'.
>He's rubbing heartily.
>Barbastroff just sighs HEAVILY.
>He mumbles something along the lines of "too old for her, what's he thinking?"
>The droop on his normally proud stance was noticeable.
>They are walking towards the Prince's private barracks.
>...
>More awkward silence.
>"So... do you play cards?"

Time for a different protagonist.

->Open Spoiler<-

>Be IRON SOLDIER in Prince's Army.
>Not long ago, used to be a farmer's son in middle of nowhere.
>Goddess Aigis personally appeared in front of you.
>As you prostrate in worship, gives you a job offer.
>"Join the army that's fighting off the monster invasion! Oh and 70% of its members are beautiful women."
>Sign up without a second thought.

>Learn quickly that those "70% of members" are only interested in Prince.
>Feel down, couldn't you get close to just one girl?
>Hear rumour in mens' barracks of a mission where Prince has sworn not to touch the rescued maidens.
>Volunteer for it at earliest opportunity.
>"What I lack in skill, I'll make up for in spirit!"
>Find yourself in a toxic swamp, facing a pack of rabid wolves fast closing in.
>Anything to save a girl Prince won't touch.
>Thanks to bronze archer bros and Christopher, you survive the onslaught.
>Now where are these grateful girls?
>"Thanks for rescuing me! I'll work hard to get you lots of experience!"
>Wait... she's smaller than your fist.
>Blab your thoughts aloud while in a daze.
>"You wanted sexual experience? I can do that too. Want now?"
>You will not sink that low. It hurts, but you will not sink that low.
>Bronze bro puts a hand on your shoulder.
>"Welcome to Prince's army!"
>What a hazing.

Might as well post this here.

Part 1

->Open Spoiler<-

>Be Bronze Archer in the Prince's army
>It's the weekly game night
>Conrad's out on business
>Something about a new contraption he wanted to try out
>Playing cards with the other Bronzes for now
>All of us just ignoring the thumping and shaking from upstairs
>We definitely didn't hear any moans
>Suddenly, one of us speaks up
>It's Bergan, our signature Bronze Bandit
>The guy's popular with the woman of the villages we pass through despite being a bandit
>You can even say it's because he's a bandit
>His good looks go without saying
>Of course, most of us Bronzes are popular with girls outside the army
>It's just that they can't compare with the ones in it
>"How about a panty raid?"
>The idea's so random we just stare in shock
>He quickly explains
>"Since the Prince is usually banging the girls every weekend..."
>Bronze Soldier Hector looks like he's about to cry
>"They're likely to not be in their barracks"
>Looks of understanding start to appear
>No girls in their barracks means no people in their barracks
>No people in the girls' barracks mean we can get in easily and take a few pieces of underwear here and there
>We'd have to be fast of course
>As the rest of us showed interest we discussed our plans
>It was decided that we would go the next weekend, as it was the first of the next month
>The next few days passed with us secretly making moves
>A few cloth bags from the storage place
>Some clean rags from the kitchen
>The day of judgement finally came

Part 2

->Open Spoiler<-

>All the Bronzes were here
>Of particular note were Bergan, Roy, and fellow archer Wilfred
>Bergan as the leader, Roy as the magic user, Wilfred as the stealth expert
>Wilfred had scouted a bit earlier and noticed the girls had gone for a "girls' night" at the nearby town
>That gave us a few hours to work with
>Roy activated a spell that he learned from our resident trickster, Calliope
>Said it would make us invisible
>We wanted to question it but remembered a certain incident
>The Irons had heard the moans of a woman being fucked in the mess hall
>However, no such woman was to be found
>Of course
>It had to be her and the Prince
>Silently cursing the luck of that bastard, we were all turned invisible by Roy
>We brazenly walked through the front entrance
>Why?
>We were invisible
>Though we could see each other
>After a brief discussion about when to meet back, we split up
>I headed over to the room belonging to Daniela
>What the fuck
>They really are fucking huge
>The bra had to be close to 100
>And her boobs still couldn't completely fit in it
>Headed to a couple other rooms

Part 3

->Open Spoiler<-

>Next thing I knew, all the Bronzes ended up gathered in front of one door
>It belonged to Soma
>There was hesitation
>After all, it's Soma, one of the army's top idols
>That, and there were noises coming from behind the door
>A look was shared
>We're invisible right?
>I volunteered and slowly opened the door
>It's Soma
>She's fucking someone
>Who?
>Do you even have to ask?
>Of course it's the Prince
>Soma doesn't seem to notice the door opening
>But the Prince does
>He stares right at me
>Can he see me?
>That's impossible
>I checked a mirror and couldn't see anything
>Yet he's staring directly into my eyes
>Then I remember the incident in the mess hall with the Irons
>Of course he'd know about the invisibility spell
>I'm starting to sweat
>What do I do?
>The Prince stares a bit longer, then procedes to fuck Soma harder
>A loud slapping noise echoes in the room
>At the same time, the Prince slightly points his chin in the direction of Soma's drawer
>The message is clear
>Go ahead, I'll distract her
>Tears well up in my eyes
>The Prince truly is a good person
>Of course, it's probably because he get some whenever he wants
>I hurriedly raid Soma's drawer and rush out the room, closing the door softly
>The others all sigh in relief before splitting up again
>An hour or so later, we're back at the meeting place
>The effect of the invisibility spell has faded
>The girls still haven't returned so we decide to head out the same way we came
>Right before we open the door Bergan pales in front of the window
>It's the girls
>We all duck below the windows in fright
>We're doomed
>We'll probably get tortured for this
>Girls can be cruel when pissed
>Even more so if it's Fedora

Part 4

->Open Spoiler<-

>Then our savior appears
>It's the Prince
>Soma's not with him so she's probably sleeping
>He walks right past us and out the door
>As he heads towards the girls he sends us a quick glance before shouting a message to the girls
>"Follow me for some fun and I'll double this month's pay!"
>The girls excitedly follow him as he heads in a direction away from the barracks
>All of us Bronzes are crying manly tears
>The Prince has showed us that he is a true brother to his men
>That doesn't change the fact that he's a lucky bastard though
>We stand up and brazenly walk out the front door, promising to remember this moment in our hearts
>Standing outside is that new Iron Soldier
>His eyes are wide, mouth open, and he just dropped his training sword
>We make a mad rush to grab him and knock him out before he can scream
>Later, we all ended up having to give him a portion of our month's pay and some of the panties to silence him
>Despite being a country hick, he's surprisingly devious
>It was fucking worth it though

Originally Posted by Xcellion

Might as well post this here.

It's a polishable draft - a piece of writing that's worth iterating over. But it won't deliver lulz and /jp/ expects every one of these stories to deliver lulz. I think it's still worth writing more in this series to continue exploring. But perhaps /jp/ can be spared the 'betrayal of expectations' as it's hard to find a joke from this source anymore.

And yes, too long. It's clear this is a draft that was not edited afterwards - lots of unnecessary detail to trim down.

...And now after reading some of these my brain fixates on the poor soldier on the side who is pretty much never gonna get any action....fffff...this is why I don't keep guys in my party anymore other than old geezers and dudes I plan to burn for exp, because I actually think about this stuff unintentionally and it just digs into my head and festers until I can't bear to look at any of it...augh...

Great...can't use any of the scenes as "relief" material anymore because the sob story kicks in instead...had this problem with Dark Blue the Hentai OVA as well because I kept imagining it from the perspective of the guy who dies...ffff...

Admittedly I think it would be cool in Aigis if like Fire Emblem you could build relationships between the characters and let them go at each other so you could nurture...meaningful moments between a guy and girl in your army...or 2 girls...or 2 guys...or just have at an orgy-fest for fun...possibilities are limitless...

...but if that feature were around, you wouldn't get to be the "Do 'em all" protagonist though so I guess you gotta stick it to all the girls and intoxicate the guys' frustrations away instead.

...damn...literally daydreaming a story of a soldier being heartbroken...really can't use Aigis for "relief" material anymore...

but still, I have to say, it was rather hilarious, and I got a good laugh. even though it's sad for the guys, we're playing as the prince after all.